all his pieces

It felt like a heart attack
but I know that can't be true
and then the bell rings
it starts beating

and in one motion
his fingers splayed
almost motioning, really just hovering
a loose handle over
something uncontrolled
terrifying
with its surprise arrivals

and I just keep thinkin

thoughts all defined
with his fingers slowly moving upward
toward each other
as if every ounce of energy within them
burst and jolted to
pray
but the wrists, unsure, hold back

I can't stop thinkin'
about all these memories

In one same jolt the fingers give in,
crown drops and hangs almost
lifeless
if not for a determined
understanding back and forth
led from his jaw.

you know, my grandfather
he tells this great story,
when I first heard it
I almost peed my pants
he was on this dam

but before,
his esophagus allowed
and pulled his chest up
brought the edges of his eyes back
and his mouth
easy, comfortable
for a moment
purely happy

she knew everyone
my grandma, grandpa
my brothers
she met my mom
and I wanted that
I wanted that with her
I wanted to meet her parents
I was ready for that two years ago
and I don't know what happened
I would give this
any of this
I would give anything

but I guess I can't.


and all these pieces held all
his pieces
in his fingers, throat, heart even
at the sides of his eyes
all these pieces held all his pieces
together.

Stick With It

Stickin' to it
I have a hard time
I just can't
stick to it
stick to my mom, my dad
yeah, I love them

I don't though,
I just don't stick
stick to 'em
Football
I quit football
Mercedes is showing
I gotta stick wit her
I have to stick with her
I gotta quit Jimmy John's
I don't know
I can't stick with it
My grades,
yeah, my grades
It's cause
It's cause I, I can't sleep
you know, I can't sleep
they're down a guy
they got me on til' 2
and I've been sleepin'
sleepin' in 1st
1st and 2nd
I haven't told my dad
She hasn't told, no
but I was on the phone
and, you know, that's the one thing
he always, he always said
don't get a girl pregnant
and he was laughing
hung up the phone.
so I gotta work.
I guess it's good
I'm motivated
It feels good
It feels
It feels good.
to be, to finally be
motivated.
but I gotta stick with it
my grades, you know
I gotta succeed
I knew
I knew since I was little
I was going to do it,
be rich.
So, I can
go to college, you know.
But I gotta stick with it.
I was going to go to Omaha
go to Lincoln
live with my aunt
live with my uncle
but I can't, I can't now
he was laughing
laughing on the phone
he hung up
I was on my own before
made my grades okay.
lived on the street, sophomore year
but I made, yeah I made my grades okay
and now I'm back
back with her
my mom
but I gotta stick with it
I love them, yeah
I don't really stick with 'em
but I gotta stick with it.

Smell in the Teacher's Lounge

Eagan tried to tell me-
Yeah, he definitely warned me-
His voice twanging with shock
His hands turned upward in
helpless aghast
aghast!
How can they eat?
Perform their duties?
Enjoy the New Yorker?
very few do
that, anyway.
It took me seven months
seven months until
I realized
that smell.
sage Eagan nods, through the phone:
It has to be the refrigerator.

A Room of Security

"a window seat,
a strip of floor
which they pace up and down
In that way they have a certain security"
blanket of light over millions of
think, carpet kernels
windows not too big not to let in too much
of that world
in this world
colonial wainscoting
timid, tiny flowers or
timid, tiny berries or
perhaps just timid, tiny buttons, splotches, dots
in perfect,
repeating
patterns
this is my strip
you can pace up and down
in security.

The quote above is taken from "Letters to a Young Poet," Letter VIII, Rainer Maria Rilke, p. 38

The Text Message Before ACT 4

1
Shove it down your throat.
shove all this shit
shove it down your white ass throat
shove all this down

I came by
you weren't there
I'm so mad
my phone messed up

I'll be there
This time, I'll be there
over and over
I'll say it again
shove it down your throat.

2.
Okay
but you
you do it.
shove it down.
you do it.

and I
I won't budge
shove it down
I'll stay still.
shove it down my white ass throat
I won't budge.

3.
I know
we came from different worlds
I know
I don't know you
at all, at all.
You don't owe me
anything.
but I am
falling
from your words-
shove it down your throat-
I am falling, still.
I think because
I know
that I am failing through this falling
I am failing me and you.

Please,

Please,

simply take my apology.

I am sorry.
I am sorry to
fail you.
I did try and
I am trying still.
You are always welcome here
you are always welcome here
with me.

This agnostic organization!

Bumblesass!
Biblesass
Bumblesass!
Bible Bumble Bible sass!

This agnostic organization
is not permitted
to bible the bumble
or bumble the bible
despite the sass of the bumblers.

-For Stephanie

Practice Teach 1

The passage suggests
directly supports
it can be inferred
that
if
we can
read outloud
Steve, is this the answer
remember back to detail questions
we need to predict
remember the author states
find that keyword
can function be a type of inference
what would happen
what do you think is going to happen
-one more minute-
I must be your favorite student-
inference or not?
yes
go back into the passage
the clue words will
help you.